


Bucky Barnes does not dance!

by Brianneinlove



Category: Captain America (Movies), MCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Dancing, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Protective Steve Rogers, nothing smutty, past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-18 12:25:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17580815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brianneinlove/pseuds/Brianneinlove
Summary: Bucky hates dancing now! everywhere he sees it, its a fast way to a bad day for him. BUT that was not always the case. When Steve finds out he is determined to fix it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first written work in a while and though it is a bit off from other work I have written I blame the plot bunnies! Once they get me I am useless till they get out.

Bucky agreed to do the shopping this time even though it was Steve’s turn. “I just want to get out of the house I’m getting restless” He said as he grabs his house keys, slips on his shoes and kisses Steve good bye.

Steve does not argue with him; he knows Bucky can sometimes feel cooped up. “Ok then I’ll get a start on the wash and cleaning then” He smile at Bucky “Have fun”

“Ok babe see you in a hour or so.” Bucky winked and closed the door.

Steve took a deep breath and went to get dressed. He put on some old jogging shorts and a tank and started the laundry. He then went into the living room smiled; he loved the domestic scene he was looking at; Bucky's books left all over the end table near his chair and Steve’s multiple sketch and art books left all over the coffee table. 

Steve called out to Jarvis to put on some music as he picked up the clutter. It had been about two years since he allowed Tony to install Jarvis in their brownstone. Bucky had a bad winter solider relapse while Steve was on mission; Bucky had no one to help him though it. The relapse was not violent, but it left Bucky unsure where he was or how to care for himself properly. Steve was unaware until he got home and found Bucky hiding in their closet mumbling about not going back to the chair. He asked Tony for advice and Tony told the men that he could install Jarvis to assist them without being invasive. They both agreed and have enjoyed Jarvis’ company as they navigate modern life.

Modern pop music filled the house as Steve cleans; dancing around the house wiping down tables, dusting book cases, and putting away dishes. He did not hear the front door open when Bucky came in he was in the bathroom hanging fresh towels and singing as he worked.

Bucky set down the arm load of bags he had and slipped quietly down the hall. The music was playing in all the rooms at the same loud volume. He was pretty sure he could have set off a bomb in the living room and Steve would not have heard it. Laughing a bit as he walked down the hall he could hear Steve singing loudly. He caught sight of Steve dancing around between the master bathroom and bedroom singing to the song with his back turned to Bucky. 

Steve was graceful as ever, moving in a way he would never have been able to back in the 40’s. Bucky's heart dropped as he watched Steve dance, he felt a wave of hurt and frustration cloud his heart. He turned quickly to leave the sight in front of him. He loved music same as Steve, but he hated everything to do with dancing. He got upset every time he encountered people dancing even Steve. The worst was he couldn’t even tell Steve why! 

Steve caught sight of him just as he was retreating down the hall and he knew something was wrong. Bucky would never just turn and walk off not saying anything to him. “Jarvis can you turn the music down.” He called out to Bucky quietly “Bucky?” 

Bucky stopped like a kid caught doing something he shouldn’t. He hunched up his shoulders and turned to his boyfriend. Trying to hide how disturbed he was at the sight and smiled at Steve. “Ya, babe I'm home. I was just going to start putting the shopping away. Sorry for disturbing you” 

By this point Steve had walked out to meet him in the hall “You weren’t bothering me Buck. What’s wrong?” He set a hand on Bucky’s arm. Looking at him with Bucky’s least favorite face the ‘I am so worried and need to know your ok right now or I will worry all night’ face’. The wrinkle in his forehead and all most watery eyes face. Damn this man!

“Nothing babe just loud music is all, and you looking a domestic does things to a man Stevie!” he dodged the real reason for his fleeing. Steve seemed to buy it, so he smiled and stepped into Bucky’s space looped an arm around his back and pulling him in close. The song changed from a fast-paced song to a more slow sweeping melody.  
Steve kissed Bucky softly then tried to spin him around in a move that they had perfected in the 40’s but Bucky did not move as Steve had expected; he stiffened up, then pulled away from Steve hard and glared at him snarling “What the hell was that!” He demanded unable to hide his anger now.

Steve pulled up short, “umm I was trying to dance with you Bucky.” He had no idea why Bucky was so mad. “like we used to before” He tried to piece together what he did that changed Bucky’s mood so fast. It was not a bad day overall and Bucky was just smiling and laughing. They had done the spin and twist thing so many times before in their small apartment before the war it was old hat for them.

“I don’t dance Steve!” He said curtly and pushed past Steve into the kitchen. Bucky knew he was being a bit over the top about this, but he couldn’t help it. It hurt too much; they had taken this from him too.

He was pissed about it. Every time he saw people swaying to a tune in a shop or dancing at one of the many avenger’s events he attended, he would get sullen about it. Bucky hated being mad about it even more then he hated the dancing. See it was a fast way to a bad day for him. It reminded him of all the things they had taken, and he spiraled into a fit of hate and guilt.

Steve followed him into the kitchen where he is leaning on the kitchen island and staring at the stacks of bags he had set on the counter. He wondered if Steve could let this go. ‘Please’ he begged the universe just let him let this go.

“You used to love to dance Bucky.” Steve said softly “you would always drag us and our dates to dance halls. You even taught me some dancing so I would not embarrass you. We danced in the apartment all the time before …” it hit him like bucket of ice water. They used to dance but they had not danced since Bucky came back to him. Fuck how was he so blind. All the bad nights after social functions. All the stomping out of coffee shops. 

“That was a long time ago, a life time ago Steve. I was just a kid and dancing was something I was allowed to have.” He put empais on allowed like that would make Steve understsand. “No one needed an asset who could dance.” He let his voice grow cold he it knew the last sentence would hurt Steve he knew it, but how could he tell Steve he wanted to dance but had forgotten how.  
They wiped it from his mind just like they had Steve and their love, Brooklyn his home, even his own name. He got more and more mad the angry tears started flowing “I don’t dance now Steve”  
Steve stepped lightly into the kitchen leaning on the counter opposite Bucky. He did not crowd him in or touch him. He opened up his posture and spoke kindly. “You are right no one needs an asset who can dance, but you are not an asset anymore. If you don’t want to dance anymore that’s ok Buck. Just do me a favor remember your allowed to have anything you want now.” 

Steve wanted to hold Bucky close and love on him. He wanted to reach out and wrap him up in warmth and safety, but Steve knew better. Bucky would come to him for comfort when he was ready; all Steve could do was show Bucky the respect of waiting with openness and understanding.  
Bucky shook his head and snorted “Ya right I can have anything I want, sure pal. Anything but this.” he couldn’t have this he knew. Who was going to teach the winter solider to dance? And He couldn’t tell Steve he forgot how. 

“Ok, Bucky can you tell me why you can’ have this anymore?” Steve asked still in that gentle prodding tone. He would take no answer if Bucky dug in about it but he had some training on how to deal with Bucky’s trauma, never pushing or forcing just being interested and asking. Letting Bucky work it out in his mind and being open to the answers. Even if it was one, he did not want to hear. Bucky gave him a sideways glare; showing he knew full well what Steve was doing. He was not going to play this game today. Bucky did that sometimes too. Steve had to respect it. However he did not expect Bucky to move at him so quickly.

He lunged into Steve’s personal space and pinned him to the counter hard. “Because I don’t want to they wiped it from me Steve.” He spit out the confession with a venom he had not felt in a long time putting a hard emphasis on Steve’s name. He sounded like the solider and not Bucky at all. “over and over again anytime they caught me holding on to that memory, holding on to you! The chair… over and over until I would get sick at the sight of dancing, That’s why!”

After all the hate was spewed from him like word vomit. He pushed out of Steve’s face. He was back to Bucky now. “Like all the good things I had in my life they took it away I can’t have it either” He was all rage and anger now. “so leave it alone!” He stalked out of the room into their bedroom and slammed the door leaving Steve stunned stupid and unsure where to go from here. He had to fix this, but how.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OK maybe just maybe he does dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I want to thank a great friend for helping me improve really she is just the best! Elle1991 You should check her out here on AO3 her stories are amazing!! Thank you so much I cant say it enough! She Betaed this chapter for me. Thank you dear friend!

It had been a week since the blow-up in the kitchen after Bucky had caught Steve dancing as he cleaned the bathroom but, as usual, things had gone back to normal pretty fast. They did not talk about the issue of dancing at all that week but, Steve being Steve, he wanted to fix it, so he knew it would have to be talked about sooner or later. He just wanted to give Bucky some time to cool off and allow himself some time to find a solution.

“Mail call, punk!” Bucky called from the kitchen.

Steve set his paintbrush down and trotted in from his studio. He was waiting for some information about a dance class he had called for. He had asked them to send the information in a plain envelope, just in case Bucky went to get the mail.

“Anything fun?” he asked, as he got some water and lounged back onto the island of their kitchen.  
.  
“Bill, bill, fan mail…” said Bucky. “And an invite from Pepper to the Maria Stark Foundation fundraiser.”

He tossed it to Steve. They went every year, mostly because they were Avengers and it was good to be seen doing charitable works. It also gave the team something to bond over, other than fighting and how to clean blood off clothing. It was always a themed event, and this year was no different. Last year, it had been all about Africa, hosted by Tony and T’Challa. That event had been bright and colorful, with deco and exhibits from all over Africa. There were performances from traditional peoples in Wakanda in celebratory dance, and stories that had been passed down through rich oral traditions. That year had helped T’Challa realise his dream of opening up Wakanda to the world and had also helped raise funds for the Maria Stark Foundation. 

Steve opened the fundraiser invitation and smiled.

“It’s a masquerade ball this year, based on a movie,” he said.

He smiled. This sounded like fun - except Bucky was not smiling... Shit.

“What movie?” asked Bucky, trying to pretend to be interested, but Steve could hear the tension in his voice.

“Uh, Labyrinth,” said Steve. “I think we saw this one. With the girl and the goblins.”

He smiled; it had been one of the movies they had seen and both liked. He liked the style of it, and Bucky liked the goblin king.

“Yeah, with Bowie, right?” Bucky smiled.

Bucky had liked the movie, before he had recalled that he had forgotten how to dance. It had been early days then, and the music had spoken to him. He could not go now. Balls meant dancing and he could not dance.

He was not going to be mad about it anymore, he decided. Instead, he said plainly: “Steve, I don’t think I can go this year.”

He wanted to. God, he wanted to, as he thought about the costumes and the music and the sight of Steve as the goblin king - oh hell, did that do things to Bucky - but dancing? He would just ruin Steve’s night, if he went. He set his face and nodded his head, convincing himself as much as Steve.

“I’m not going,” he said, but the look of hurt was too late to take back; Steve had seen it.

Steve opened his arms.

“Come here, babe,” he said.

Bucky went willingly.

“Is this about the dancing again?” asked Steve.

Bucky nodded against Steve’s shoulder.

“Can I ask a question without upsetting you?” 

He rubbed up and down Bucky’s back as he held him. Another nod came as Bucky hugged back and sighed at the touch. This was going to be a difficult conversation, no matter what, so Steve took a deep breath; the best way out was through. 

“Do you not want to dance anymore?” said Steve. “Do you remember an upsetting memory when you see it? Or do you not remember how to dance and don’t want to ask for help?”

Steve knew Bucky always wanted to figure things out for himself. He did not like asking Steve or anyone to ‘help’ him remember how to do things. He had taught himself how to cook again. He had taught himself how to take care of his own personal needs, in the beginning. He would get pissy about it when Steve even thought about stepping in to help. In the end though, there were certain things he had to ask Steve to help him with. When it came down to it, some memories were just gone.

Bucky wanted to lie. He wanted to tell Steve he did not want to dance. He took a large breath and sighed, then heard Sam in his head: ‘Lying won't help anyone, man, gotta be honest or no one gets better’. He hated and loved Sam, as a friend. He was not their therapist, but he did have a lot of good advice on how to deal with this shit, having gone through it himself after Riley's death.

“I don’t remember how, and I don’t know who or how to ask for help.”

He vomited out the words in one breath, too fast and too agitated to be more than a jumble of words. He hated this. He wanted to punch something.

Steve caught every word. He kissed the top of Bucky’s ear, continuing to rub his arms and back.

“Thank you for telling me,” said Steve. “I think I know how to help, if you want me to?”

He would not push Bucky to agree to anything, but he had been looking into a few dance classes around Brooklyn, just in case Bucky had forgotten how to dance. He had found one that he was still waiting to hear back from; it was a private teacher who could come to the brownstone.

“How?” said Bucky. “I can’t just poof the memory back. We tried that. The skill is just gone.”

He huffed again, annoyed.

“But we could relearn it,” said Steve. “Like you did with cooking or fucking.”

He smiled at the last phrase. Learning to have sex again had been Bucky’s more pleasant education, he had once said. Bucky laughed.

Steve continued: “I know a few dance classes, if you wanted to go. We could learn ballroom dancing together.”

“I don’t want to learn with a stranger, Steve,” said Bucky. “That would be humiliating.”

He knew that his story as James ‘Bucky’ Barnes was of a brash young man who had had all the girls lining up to dance with him, and then breaking their hearts when he never took any of them home for the night.

OK, thought Steve, Plan B... “I could teach you,” he said.

That really made Bucky laugh.

“You, Rogers? I taught you how to dance! How are you going to show me?”

He sounded a bit meaner than he meant to, but it was simply his ego getting in the way.

“Same way you taught my scrawny ass, all those years ago,” said Steve. There was a cheekiness in his voice. “One painful step at a time...”

*** 

Three months later.

The lessons had paid off. Bucky was never one to give up, so a few broken toes later, and a few harsh statements (“No, Steve, I won't take off my boots - you weigh a ton when you step on me!”, and, “Come on, Buck, it’s only one twist and two steps - how hard is it?!”), they were dancing. It was basic, at first, but they got there.

“You look amazing!” said Bucky, as Steve stepped out in his all-white costume.

He looked like a ballet dancer crossed with a rock star. Bucky had been right; it did things to him. He was dressed in just the opposite: all-black and with peacock feathers. His hair was ratted up to make it look like Bowie’s from the movie. They were covered in glitter and make-up too, thanks to Nat.

The ride over to the tower was nerve-wracking for Bucky. It was one thing to dance in their home, but quite another to have people see them do it. Steve grabbed his hand, smiling.

“You look great,” said Steve. “This will be OK.”

He followed Bucky out of the limo, taking his hand and walking past the cameras quickly. Once inside, they spent a hour or so talking with friends, along with the other Avengers.

Finally, Steve asked Bucky if he wanted to dance. Bucky was nervous, but he nodded and followed Steve to the floor. He was so stiff from nerves that it was hard to move, but Steve had a fix for that. He kissed Bucky softly, and then started to move, while they were locked in that kiss, and let Bucky’s body follow him until he felt the stiffness fade. He broke the kiss and smiled.

“I told you,” Steve said softly. “Nothing to it.”

They spent the rest of the evening dancing and laughing with friends.

Now, Bucky loved to dance and even took lessons from Nat to learn new dancing styles. Steve could not have loved him more for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading please leave comments and kudos they are my life blood and keep me dancing...I mean writing :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading with me! Please comment and Kudos I love to hear what you think and they are the air any author breaths! I have part 2 finished just editing.


End file.
